Assumptions

My daughter Danielle started attending community college a few months after we arrived from Puerto Rico. Because we homeschooled, my children's native language is English. We spoke it at home, we watched movies in English, we attended an English language church, and it was the language they did all their studies in.

They understand Spanish and can speak it when necessary, but not as fluently as I would have liked. It is one of the areas where I believe I dropped the ball. I should have spoken more Spanish to them at home so they would be more fluent.
I believe all parents can look back and think of many 'should haves'. Oh well...

My children speak English with no prominent accent. Yet, when Danielle started school, she had more than one person come up to her and say, very slowly and enunciating every syllable, something to the effect of " W-O-W. Y-O-U-R E-N-G-L-I-S-H I-S S-O G-O-O-D." Mind you, my daughter has never had any type of hearing problem. After the first few times, she finally began to answer, no doubt smiling her biggest smile, "T-H-A-N-K Y-O-U. S-O I-S Y-O-U-R-S."

She understood that the people who told her that meant no offense. And it has actually become a point of humor for us. I am just surprised at the assumptions that people make based on where you live or lived, what your surname is, or any of the other cultural distinctions.

It is one of the things I have learned to deal with. Most of the assumptions are simply based on ignorance. We can get angry, but I don't believe that anger without action has ever eliminated ignorance. Or we can simply find the humor in such ignorance. But the best course of action is to educate people. Of course, some will always choose to remain ignorant. There is little we can do about those. But for those whose ignorance is based out of lack of exposure, we can gently teach them who we are and what we believe and do from our cultural standpoint.

So to those who still comment on our excellent command of the English language, as a former New Yorker, I thank you, especially because I still pronounce coffee as caw-fee.

Spring Cleaning

I started my spring cleaning this past weekend. During this manic phase of my housework, I take everything out of every closet and cabinet and drawer. The items I have decided to keep go back in some orderly fashion. The rest gets donated or thrown away.

It never ceases to amaze me how much 'stuff' I always manage to accumulate! I am not an avid shopper. Truthfully, I stay aways from malls as much as possible. I do a lot of my purchasing online, which helps keep the impulsivity factor at bay. There are no Point of Sale end caps when you're paying with Paypal. I also tend to be rather frugal. Frugal.. not cheap.. the difference being that I am willing to pay top dollar for a quality item that will enhance my life in some way. I always consider the trade off.

Other than my weekly trip to Walmart for groceries, I don't 'go shopping'. I know - the very thought of mall avoidance makes me anathema to many of my female friends....

So how it is that regardless of how frugal or conservative a shopper I have been, I always have stuff that needs to eliminated? I am looking forward to the day when money accumulates that quickly!

What it led me to think is how our minds are like those closets and cabinets. We accumulate stuff in our thought life that we don't need. Negative thoughts, anger, bitterness, worry, fear. Even though I try to be diligent and eliminate those things from my thoughts, they still take up residence. So I have determined that in addition to cleaning out the junk in my home, I will also clean out the junk in my thinking. I will examine what my mind ponders and only keep those thoughts that are positive and fruitful. Sounds easy doesn't it?

Have you ever started purging your closet and come across a dress that was once your favorite? It was expensive and you wore it often, but now it no longer fits you and is hopelessly dated. You haven't even worn it in four years. Yet, you decide to hold on to it because maybe someday you will lose the extra ten pounds, and hey! retro is in, isn't it? So instead of chucking it, you dust it off and put it back on the hanger.

Some of our thoughts are like that. We have become accustomed to having them. They may have once served a purpose. So we hold on to them. But they no longer fit our goals, and unless we shrink our goals, they never again will. They keep us bound to the past, and prevent us from pushing into the future. The longer we hold on to fruitless thinking, the harder it becomes to clear out the mind.

So I have determined to be ruthless in my spring cleaning. I will only keep those thoughts which are true, noble, right, pure, lovely, admirable, excellent or praiseworthy. (Philippians 4:8).

Let the sun shine and the creativity and love flow!

The Rose Colored Pen

I finally got a good night's sleep. I think I was only awakened by the phone ringing and the disembodied sound of my daughter telling me she was on her way home. I don't sleep very well. This has a huge impact on my brain, my creativity, my thoughts. I often feel as if they are shrouded in cotton, soft and smooth, yet smothering.
Maybe it's because today is Saturday and I didn't have to jump out of bed, responding to the immediate demands of the weekday: wake up the boys for school, let the dog out, make the coffee, let the dog back in, give her a treat for bringing in the paper, make breakfast, sign school note, take a shower, look for matching socks, and get out of the house in time to beat the school buses.
Most Saturdays I wake up when the sun starts to filter in my room. I have time to gather my thoughts. And today, this is what I was thinking:

I want to make $500,000. The only marketable legal skill that I have which I believe can make me anything close to that amount is writing. I also have cojones. For my Spanish challenged friends, that means I have guts but it sounds so much better in Spanish.
So I figured I would write a book. Many people have told me I should write a book. I have had some really unique experiences in my life, so I know I have something to say. The problem has been that I could not figure out what to say. Should I write about being a homeschooling mom? about raising an autistic child? about taking care of my father until the day he passed away. my faith? my family? living in a rainforest? in the city? in the south? Too many possibilities.
So I did some research and found that the majority of best sellers are instructional or motivational. I can do that, I thought. I am an encourager. It is one of my spiritual gifts. So I got a twitter account and began posting inspirational quotes. And I started this blog. I figured I would make it an inspirational blog. One that people would keep coming back to in search of a reason to keep on keeping on. But somewhere inside me was this nagging little voice that kept whispering something. Only my mind was too covered in cotton to hear. But this morning, I heard that voice loud and clear. I have to be me. I have to write about the things that occur to me. I have to stop simply regurgitating posi-speak.
I came to realize that no other person on this planet has been through exactly the same combination of experiences, challenges, shattered dreams that I have. We all have our own, for sure, but this is my story to tell.

So I have decided that I must put down the rose colored pen and write about life from the view God has given me. Will this lead me to the monied road? I don't know. Maybe there are others out there that will relate and find the truth refreshing. But at least I will know at the end of each day that I have spoken my own words, relayed my own thoughts, shared my own dreams with you.
I hope you stay tuned.
So who am I?
I am a mother, a daughter, an employee. A Christian, a dreamer, a motivator. A reader, a writer, an artist.

I am a Caribbean Yankee living in the south.

The Birthday Card

In celebration of my last birthday, some of my co-workers took me to lunch. It is a tradition among us, and one that I enjoy, whether I am the celebrator or the celebratee. They chose thoughtful, not too personal, gifts as well as paying for my meal. Among the gift bags was a card that they had all signed. It was without a doubt, my favorite gift of all. It said:





Born to be wild,

born to be outrageous

Born to live your life out loud,

born to be courageous

(inside)

Born to make some mischief,

born to rock ' n roll,

Born to spread your wings and fly,

born to bare your soul.

Born to be a dreamer,

born to dare and do,

Born to make the world a better place

because you're you.


I was taken aback by this view my colleagues have of me. At my professional job, I tend to be a private person. I don't engage in office gossip, and for the most part keep to myself. I do my job with joy and I am always willing to help out with tasks that need to be done, even if they are not in my job description. Other than the occasional family update, most of them do not know much about my writing or other activites I engage in. I am sure none of
them know that my bucket list contains things like 'own goats' and 'go zorbing' .

And yet, I am pleased beyond measure that this is how they see me, because this is how I see myself.

I have always believed in living life, not just enduring it. Embracing it, come what may. I have had as many hard knocks and heartaches as the next person, maybe more. But I believe that out of every adversity comes a seed of equal or greater benefit, to paraphrase Napoleon Hill. So I look for those. I look for seeds I can plant and nurture and grow. I look for the next adventure, the next journey, all while enjoying the one I am on. Apparently my zest for life shows through my professional demeanor. Trust me, I don't wear a fuzzy pink hat to work...ever! Goes to show that what we think about creates what we become on the inside. If it is radiant, it will shine through.
So my message today is - Shine!. Let what you were born to be become a light for others.

Marking Memories

There are specific events in our lives that we consider memorable. Our first kiss, the birth of our children, our wedding day or the day a loved one passed away. But often we forget the moments or events that have led us to the place we are now. We not only forgot who we were, but we forgot how we got here.

In the book of Joshua, a story is told of an amazing journey. The Israelites had spent 40 years wandering in the desert, and they were finally going to enter their promised land. Led by Joshua, they were going to live in the land of milk and honey. But there was a river to cross before they got there.

God held back the waters of the Jordan river until all the people of Israel, probably over 2 million in number, were safe on the other side.He then told their leader Joshua to take up 12 stones from the river. Inevitably, these were stones that had been made smooth by the passage of time and water. What follows is the rest of the story:

"So Joshua called together the twelve men he had appointed from the Israelites, one from each tribe, and said to them, "Go over before the ark of the LORD your God into the middle of the Jordan. Each of you is to take up a stone on his shoulder, according to the number of the tribes of the Israelites, to serve as a sign among you. In the future, when your children ask you, 'What do these stones mean?' tell them that the flow of the Jordan was cut off before the ark of the covenant of the LORD. When it crossed the Jordan, the waters of the Jordan were cut off. These stones are to be a memorial to the people of Israel forever." Joshua 4:5-7

I believe God commanded Joshua to do this because He knows how easily we forget. If you doubt this, ask your spouse or a close friend to recount the details of a particular event. See how they differ from yours.

Remembering helps keep us grateful. It helps us put things in perspective. When we can remember good things, it is easier to hold on to the belief that whatever trial we are facing may only be temporary. We remember joys and can face sorrow. We remember peace and have hope that wars will end.

Our minds get easily cluttered with so many things. So how can we remember? Set your own stones. There are many ways of doing this, including:

Journaling
Photos
Physical markers
Memory chest
Special collections


Take time to think of a recent event that was pivotal in bringing you to where you are now. Hold it in your mind and find a way to set a stone.



“When suffering comes, we yearn for some sign from God, forgetting we have just had one.”
Mignon McLaughlin (American Journalist and Author, 1913-1983)

Live a balanced life - learn some and think some and draw and paint and sing and dance and play and work every day some. Robert Fulghum




The combination and intertwining of body, mind and soul or spirit is what makes us uniquely human. It is also what makes us, more than any other creature, susceptible to being out of balance. Being out of balance is often the trigger and cause of physical and mental disease. While we may not be able to fulfill Robert Fulghum's model of balance every day, we can find ways to consistently reach the middle ground.

1. Get enough rest : Sleep is important. Naps are great. Taking a vacation, even if it is only to your backyard, should not be considered a luxury, but a necessity. Our body recharges and rebalances itself when we rest.
2. Eat well : This cannot be overstated. We literally are what we eat, so find time to nourish your body properly
3. Exercise: Run. If you can’t run, walk. If you can’t walk then do stretches in your seat. Get the blood flowing. Move those bones. This not only will benefit your physical body, but your mind and soul as well.
4. Slow down and do what you are doing: When you are eating, then just eat. Smell the food, look at it and capture the feeling of it on your tongue. When you are reading then read. Stop multitasking. You will make less mistakes and be more efficient.
5. Train your brain: Read good books. Learn a new skill. Take a class in something completely foreign to you. Find a mentor. Redirect negative thinking. Your brain is a muscle. Don’t let it atrophy.
6. Share your life and your love: A wife, a husband, girlfriend, lover, best friend, your neighbor, your dog, a stray cat. Find a living breathing being to spend time with and embrace them with the love that resides in your heart.
7. Laugh a lot …and don’t be afraid to cry: Learn to laugh. Not the self conscious, half hearted chuckle kind of laughter, but the “Oh God, I think I am going to pee on my pants” kind. Do it often. But also allow yourself to cry and grieve. Preventing yourself from grieving is like forcing yourself into make-believe happiness. When you prevent one, you stifle the other as well.
8. Be honest : First with yourself. Be honest about your weaknesses as well as your strengths. Both are visible to the world anyway. Be honest with others. Not the kind of brutal honesty also known as criticism, but the kind that will allow you to be who you really are. You’ll sleep better at night, knowing you don’t have to remember to keep up with your lies.
9. Apologize: Admit your mistakes and say sorry. You earn a great deal of respect when you can admit that you were wrong.
10. Finally…Respect everyone, including yourself: Your respect for people is a reflection of your respect for life. Disrespect life and you will always be unhappy and unbalanced.
Have any other ideas for living a balanced life? I’d love to hear them!

50 Ways to Bless Others

Ever think your life is unremarkable? It is not always the big things that create the largest impact in our lives, and the lives of others. Here are 50 ways to bless someone else. In the process of blessing others, you'll find that you are blessed as well. Choose one to do today and start on the path to a remarkable life!

1. Pay for the meal of the car behind you at the fast food drive through
2. Volunteer to read to children at your local library
3. Bring a family meal to a sick friend
4. Serve the family! (and if you can stay for clean up, that's a plus!)
5. Leave an extra large tip for a waiter or waitress
6. Mow your neighbor's yard
7. Or shovel it, depending on the season!
8. Bring some goodies to share at work
9. Send a thank you note to your child's teacher
10. Drive an elderly or handicapped person to the gorcery store.
11. Leave a bouquet of flowers on someone's doorstep
12. Pay for a soldier's mealPick up litter
13. Offer to help a parent load their groceries in their car while they load up their kids
14. Offer a genuine compliment to a stranger
15. Give up your seat for someone
16. Give up that great parking space!
17. Clean up the dishes in the breakroom at work
18. Give your pizza delivery guy a gas card with his tip
19. Host a kids movie night and give the parents some much needed time slone together
20. Send a thank you note to your local police office
21. Leave your magazines at a doctor's office once you've read them
22. Cut out a comic strip or article of interest for a friend
23. Visit your local animal shelter and offer to walk some of the dogs
24. Hold the door open or someone
25. Smile and thank a cashier
26. Pay for someone's toll
27. Donate your gently used professional clothes to an orgaization that helps people get back into the workforce
28. Listen to someone who is going through a tough time
29. Give an inspiring book to a friend in need
30. Share your umbrella with someone who doesn't have one
31. Leave enough change in the vending machine for the next person to get a snack
32. Maintain waterbowls and birdeed for migrating birds
33. Surprise your spouse with breakfast in bed
34. Write a note to a family member telling them why they are special
35. Have a food or clothing drive for a local shelter
36. Donate blood
37. Print an inspiring story and post it on your work bulletin board
38. Buy books for a day care center
39. Donate art supplies you no loner use to a classroom
40. Volunteer at a senior center
41. Fill your spouse's car with fuel
42. Donate your cut hair to Locks of Love
43. Cut coupons and leave them by the items at the store
44. Leave comments on a blog page you like
45. Drop off a toy or game at the hospital
46. Give your friends photos you have taken that include them
47. Invite someone who lives alone over for dinner
48. Put a quarter in an expired parking meter
49. Tell someone special in your life that you love them.
50. Give your significant other foot rub, with no strings attached