Saturday, March 28, 2009

The Rose Colored Pen


I finally got a good night's sleep. I think I was only awakened by the phone ringing and the disembodied sound of my daughter telling me she was on her way home. I don't sleep very well. This has a huge impact on my brain, my creativity, my thoughts. I often feel as if they are shrouded in cotton, soft and smooth, yet smothering.
Maybe it's because today is Saturday and I didn't have to jump out of bed, responding to the immediate demands of the weekday: wake up the boys for school, let the dog out, make the coffee, let the dog back in, give her a treat for bringing in the paper, make breakfast, sign school note, take a shower, look for matching socks, and get out of the house in time to beat the school buses.
Most Saturdays I wake up when the sun starts to filter in my room. I have time to gather my thoughts. And today, this is what I was thinking:

I want to make $500,000. The only marketable legal skill that I have which I believe can make me anything close to that amount is writing. I also have cojones. For my Spanish challenged friends, that means I have guts but it sounds so much better in Spanish.
So I figured I would write a book. Many people have told me I should write a book. I have had some really unique experiences in my life, so I know I have something to say. The problem has been that I could not figure out what to say. Should I write about being a homeschooling mom? about raising an autistic child? about taking care of my father until the day he passed away. my faith? my family? living in a rainforest? in the city? in the south? Too many possibilities.
So I did some research and found that the majority of best sellers are instructional or motivational. I can do that, I thought. I am an encourager. It is one of my spiritual gifts. So I got a twitter account and began posting inspirational quotes. And I started this blog. I figured I would make it an inspirational blog. One that people would keep coming back to in search of a reason to keep on keeping on. But somewhere inside me was this nagging little voice that kept whispering something. Only my mind was too covered in cotton to hear. But this morning, I heard that voice loud and clear. I have to be me. I have to write about the things that occur to me. I have to stop simply regurgitating posi-speak.
I came to realize that no other person on this planet has been through exactly the same combination of experiences, challenges, shattered dreams that I have. We all have our own, for sure, but this is my story to tell.

So I have decided that I must put down the rose colored pen and write about life from the view God has given me. Will this lead me to the monied road? I don't know. Maybe there are others out there that will relate and find the truth refreshing. But at least I will know at the end of each day that I have spoken my own words, relayed my own thoughts, shared my own dreams with you.
I hope you stay tuned.
So who am I?
I am a mother, a daughter, an employee. A Christian, a dreamer, a motivator. A reader, a writer, an artist.
I am a Caribbean Yankee living in the south.

2 comments:

  1. Sounds like it should be the name of the book...A Caribbean Yankee Living in the South. I'm blessed that you had your AHA moment! I've had mine as well, and as they are in their infancies, may we have the cajones to follow our dreams, not letting the difficult moments discourage us, the doubting voices move us off our path, or our own insecurities take us away from our hearts' desires.
    Go for it whole hog! Bless you as you walk into your day!

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  2. Just wanted to let you know that I will be the first person waiting in line for you to sign my copy of your book. :-)

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